Thoughts

Brahmakumari Daily Thoughts

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Understanding Attachment (cont.)

If you don't want to suffer from fear, anger or sadness, don't get attached to anything or anyone, to any expectation, any item, any particular outcome (result). That does not mean you shouldn't have possessions. It does not mean you can't have people around you that you love. Nor does it mean you don't have expectations, goals, etc. You do. But your relationship with them changes. Detachment means you are no longer dependent on any of them for your peace and happiness. You choose to be peaceful and content anyway. So when possessions are damaged or when people leave or die or when expectations are not met, all of which are inevitable, you don't become discontent. You have realized everything in life comes and goes, everything decays, every dynamic process is unpredictable and uncontrollable, and must end. You know this is a reality. Every time you get angry it means you are having an argument with this reality.

Understanding Attachment

Why do you suffer so much when things that you have brought so close to you are changed or lost? It is because they are too close. When someone damages your car and you suffer it is because you think you are the car! This is the deepest mistake. It is the deepest cause of the suffering called anger. You are not aware of this of course, but if you were to take a moment and see what you were doing in your own mind, you would see you have brought the image of the car up on the screen of your mind. You have then gone into that image of the car in your mind, and you have lost your 'sense of self' in the image of the car. In effect you identify with the car. So if the car outside is scratched or damaged in any way, it feels like it is happening to you and, as a result, you become disturbed. The disturbance is called anger. In spiritual terms this would be called attachment. Attachment is a mistake we all make within our consciousness and it creates what is known as ego. From a spiritual point of view, ego is the root of all suffering, and all suffering can be found and felt at an emotional level in the various forms of fear, anger and sadness.

Meditation

Meditation is perhaps the most important tool to develop our intellectual skills. It produces a wide range of effects on the mind, such as improved capacity to concentrate and increased clarity (clearness) of thinking, which, in turn, simplify decision-making. It also improves health and general well being, reducing anxiety (worry), stress, pain and depressive or obsessive thoughts. It is useful in clearing the mind at the end of the day, for relaxing and improving sleep.

It is not necessary to attempt to blank or suppress the mind (force the mind not to think negatively or not to think at all) in meditation. Instead of that the creation of positive thoughts is encouraged in such a way so as to tap (to use effectively) our natural power to think.

Motivation

For a process to happen effectively, I need to prioritise, that is, to make the best use of my time, energy and resources.

To prioritise, I also need to recognise and refuse clever excuses (for example, 'there is no time') and create a timetable that is realistic and functional. As I prioritise my values, then the type of motivation I have becomes clearer. Is my motivation materialistic or spiritual? The results of one and the other are very different.

Materialistic motivation is based on ambition, competition and a desire for position. Often we believe we cannot succeed without these and so think and act on the basis of these values. Often the results include conflict, fear, attachment, jealousy, possessiveness and over-identification of the self with a role, a position, which makes us feel threatened by anyone who is more talented or more praised. For example, when motivation is materialistic, there is always the fear of loss of something that, in turn, creates uneasiness, stress and worry.

Spiritual motivation is based on enthusiasm for a task, rather than blind ambition, co-operation with the uniqueness of others, rather than being in competition with those differences. Finally, the feeling to serve through whatever talent, position, or role I have.

Self Esteem

If you set your sense of self worth (value) on your position, pay and material possessions, you will not have real self-esteem. All of these things come and go, sometimes at the most unexpected moments. This is why almost every single human being from corporate leaders to househusbands, from Kings to college students are not able to have constantly high self esteem. We are all taught by our society, that worth (value) is measured by rank, quantity of possessions and the amount of monetary (financial) income. Dangerous! It creates a life of sorrow and unhappiness mixed with temporary happiness. You cannot allow your self-esteem to be defined by your work, your capabilities at work, your salary level etc. True internal self-esteem comes for realizing the self as a soul and experiencing its virtues (qualities) and specialties.  

Exercise: What external factors is your self-esteem based on? If real wealth is not money or possessions what is real wealth? What could you start doing tomorrow that may help you transfer your sense of self esteem from something you do or have outside your self, to something that you are inside?

Soul Consciousness

A human being is soul and body, spirit and matter, working together co-operatively. The body is like the hardware of a computer and the spiritual energy, the soul, is a tiny chip of light, where all things are recorded. When we go into introspective (deep) silence, it is in this chip of light, which is actually a point of light energy that we can remember and rediscover.

The tiny chip of invisible light starts to work effectively when it plugs into its original consciousness and reactivates those original qualities, which enable the soul to work and express itself naturally. The connection is achieved through the power of concentrated thought; this is called 'consciousness of the soul'. The process of experiencing 'soul consciousness' is carried out in meditation: gathering all the thoughts of the mind, creating one concentrated thought and very gently running inwards in order to make the connection with the original self, the soul. 

To take those first steps in gathering the thoughts, we use the positive consciousness of ‘I am', or what is called 'Om Shanti' consciousness. 'Om' means 'I am', with the deeper meaning that 'I am a peaceful soul'. With this awareness, there comes the experience of one's original spiritual identity.

Reflection (cont.)

To be dictated to by external situations, which make us run around without stopping internally, brings about unnecessary stress on the mind, which keeps us tied to the strings of the external, like a puppet pulled, pressed and pushed by circumstances.

To break free from this force, to relieve the mind of the weight of stress and waste and routine, I need to step inside and reflect (think) on who I am and where I am going and reassess my value system.

Otherwise, life becomes like a wheel that keeps spinning faster and faster until we become dizzy - we want to get off but it is going so fast we do not know how. 

Reflection and taking time to understand spiritual knowledge bring us to the essence of everything.

Reflection

Reflection (thinking deeply) is a necessary step in digesting knowledge.

Reflection is an exercise of the mind and intellect that goes into the depths of understanding an idea, or realization, or point of knowledge with the aim of practicing it in daily life.

Values in my life are a sign that knowledge has been digested; without this, knowledge simply remains a beautiful aspect, appreciated, interesting information in my intellect but without the ability to give me strength because it is still external; it has not been internalised.

All quality action (quality action is that action which is truly appropriate to person, circumstance and the need of the moment), all newness of perception (understanding), all new insights, or vision, require a space for silent reflection as a preliminary step.

Normally, we are lost in the business of action, its routine and ritual that make our life so mechanical and hence dull and boring, or demanding and hectic.

A mind and intellect that do not give time and attention to reflective silence (meditation) become lazy, though externally there is lots of activity for hours and hours. No new heights are reached because there is no depth of awareness in what we are doing, no reflection on purpose. As a result, we get trapped by routine. 

(To be continued tomorrow .... )

Temper Tantrums

Habits go deep. It's been estimated that eighty percent of our lives are lived by habit. That means somewhere in the past we learned to become easily upset or angry. Perhaps we were influenced by our parents, perhaps we picked up the habit from some friends at school. Just as we may have enjoyed playing with toys as a child, or placing pieces into our jigsaw puzzle, we built a place for short temper (anger) into our temperament (nature). From there it grew into one of our prized habits. If so, now is the time to dismantle (disassemble), break apart and rebuild our temperament (nature) or our personality. It's much easier than we think and does not require specialist help. It requires only our interest, some understanding and the intention to change how we respond to the world around us. Never believe anyone who says, "I can't change... I've been always been like this.... this is the personality I was born with." We didn't inherit our current personality from our parents; we acquired it as we grew up.

Overcoming Phobias (Fears) Through Meditation (cont.)

To overcome any phobia, read over silently and visualize the following positive thoughts:

I am a soul, an eternal, immortal and indestructible (which cannot be destroyed) point of life energy........

Sitting on my throne in the centre of the forehead, I the ruler, perform actions through my body........

I have incarnated (entered) in this physical body from ‘shantidham’, my incorporeal (non-physical) home, original home of light........

I am an actor on the huge world drama stage........

All the other souls are actors too, each acting a unique role through its own individual body-costume........

This spiritual knowledge makes me detached and fearless........

Unimportant scenes of the drama that would have previously brought about fear in me no longer affect me........

Through Rajyoga meditation, the soul can experience all relationships with the Supreme Soul in its day-to-day life. I continue -

I experience receiving powerful vibrations of spiritual might from the Supreme Being........

I fill my mind with thoughts of courage........

When the Almighty is my Father, my Mother, my Companion, my Guide, no one can be my enemy........

Nothing can harm me in any way........

Fear is wasted energy, it has no power in my life........

Now I am becoming a bold person and I am capable of facing all fearful situations with increased self-confidence ........

At the end of the meditation practice, for a few minutes, the patient should create a picture of the fearful situation in his mind, while at the same time learning to relax. This will help him to decrease the anxiety (worry) when he faces the real life situation and he will be able to completely overcome (face) the specific fears.

Overcoming Phobias (Fears) Through Meditation

A phobia is an intense (excessive), continuous and illogical fear of an object, situation, activity, person or animal that's generally considered harmless. Accompanying the fear is an excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid what you fear. When facing the object of his/her phobia, the person may experience negative feelings like excessive sweating, poor control of nerves, difficulty breathing, rapid heart rate, anxiety (worry), etc. In some cases, the avoidance or distress (anxiety) in the feared situation interferes significantly with the person's daily routine, social activities, relationships etc.

By practicing Rajyoga meditation regularly, a person suffering from any type of phobia, can erase (remove) negative thought patterns, which are the main cause of all phobias. It enables him/her to reprogramme his/her flow of mental tendencies.  

Tomorrow we shall explain a simple meditation commentary which can be used to overcome any phobia.

The Alphabet of Change

Awareness - First, become aware of what you need to change in yourself. What is preventing you from attaining contentment? What habits are blocking the way to realizing your full potential?

Belief - Many people think that a change in their personalities is extremely difficult. But in fact it is a reality that lies within your power. It might be useful to ask yourself questions such as "What has held me back from change in the past?" and "What are the stages by which I can bring change about?"
Commitment - Motivation is the key to commitment. We need to want to change, rather than feel it is a duty to ourselves. Try writing down a list of commitments in the form of statements beginning with "I will". They should come directly out of, and be connected with, your overall vision.
Discipline - We cannot change unless we are able to maintain a steady course over time. Think of each sign as a major landmark passed. Even if we find ourselves slipping into old habits, that achievement of even a little bit of change cannot be taken away.

Stress Management

Most of us have learned to believe some stress is both natural and necessary. One of the most powerful illusions (false beliefs) which keeps us locked in a stressful lifestyle is the idea that our stress is caused by circumstances, events and other people. As long as you think this way you will always be in self-created pain. Some people have been in pain for so long they cannot imagine being pain free, and real relaxation is a dim and distant memory. So they justify their pain as a natural part of living and then feel that others are a cause of this pain. This is dangerous. To listen to the messenger of pain means seeing and acknowledging our stress as our own creation. It is the result of how we respond to the uncontrollables in life i.e. circumstances, events and other people. No one else creates our responses.
If you can see and accept that you create your own stress according to how you are responding, you will then see that there is something you need to unlearn as well as learn. The old response needs to be unlearned, and a new positive response needs to be learned. The regular practice of meditation enables you to do that and become free from stress.

The Senses in Balance

Our five senses are windows, which open out to the world through which energy flows in two directions. The senses receive impressions and information from the world, and at the same time transmit our personalities to others. Our eyes receive a constant stream of visual messages, but we may also use the eyes to show how we feel. Through our ears we hear the sounds of life; while by "lending an ear" to others we give comfort to them. Touch allows us to experience texture; but can also transmit love and assurance. Our senses are not merely instruments, but deep-rooted aspects of the self or the soul.
Eastern thinking brilliantly shows the senses of the body (eyes, ears, nose, tongue and hands) as a chariot. The self or the soul is the charioteer (controller of the chariot); the five senses are the five horses. The self keeps the senses harmoniously (peacefully) working together, controlling their tendency to go out of control.

Positive Consciousness

The habitual way in which you use the house you live in and its contents are all affected if you use them in a positive consciousness (mental state). The result is purification while interacting with the physical object, so that when the object is in use, it fulfills its function accurately, and it has also undergone a permanent change. This can happen when you are cleaning the house, cleaning any object in the house or preparing objects for a particular purpose. If such actions are done in a positive consciousness then the physical object will have such a vibration of peace and purity that no harm can be done with it and whatever action it is used to perform will be successful. Any other soul who comes into interaction with those objects will also feel the affect of their pure vibrations.

If we perform each action with the physical body in a positive consciousness, then the physical body gets purified and we can become free of illnesses.

In our relationships it is the same principle. First there needs to be that detachment in relations. Secondly, when there is a positive consciousness, I will find that my interactions have a purifying affect on all that I relate to and I can bring benefit to everyone I meet. 

In this way a positive mental state enables all actions to be successful, whether at work or at home.

Meditation

Meditation is the process in which a meditator emerges the consciousness of being an incorporeal (non-physical) soul, or a point of spiritual energy, located between the two eyebrows with an identity separate from the physical body and connects with the Supreme Soul, who is also incorporeal (non-physical) or a point of spiritual energy but an ocean of the seven qualities - peace, bliss, love, joy, purity, knowledge, and power. By performing this practice in the early morning hours, the time which is called "Brahmamurta" or "Amrit Vela" (Sweet Nectar Time), over a period the meditator absorbs these qualities in himself, which he uses to perform his daily actions successfully.

Positive Thinking

The sun is a suitable image for positive thinking. The visualization described below uses a sunlit landscape as a comparison for the four levels of thoughts we create (positive, necessary, waste and negative). It can be used to increase your percentage of positive thoughts everyday.
1. Visualize a beautiful valley with a lake, forested foothills and high mountains rising up into the clouds. This is the landscape of your mind.

2. Your position in this landscape and the form in which you are displayed depends on the quality of your thoughts. Are you a fish swimming in the muddy depths of the lake (negative thoughts)? Are you a frog jumping back and forth from the shore to the lake (wasteful thoughts)? A human, wandering into the forest to gather food and build a shelter (necessary thoughts)? Or the sun, which sustains (nourishes) all life on earth (positive thoughts)?

Values And Purpose

Our actions sometimes are not according to our life’s purpose when we lack the proper connecting value or we are unable to express it correctly. These values help us in bringing our purpose into action. They bring purpose into life. Values are the fuel. In any situation where these values are awakened they will decide my course of action and are the basis of all important choices and decisions. Reinforcement of these values means that you can operate successfully in any situation. If your identified purpose is what you are meant to be doing, then your values are the back-up to do it.

How will we know which values are important to connect to our purpose? We don't need to make an attempt to create our values. They are already there. We just have to detect them by looking inwards and then use them to fulfill our purpose.

Visualization

The most powerful energy in the universe is the energy of the mind. Everything we create, from the simplest of objects, to the most complex philosophies, are formed in the human mind. The images and thoughts, which you create at each moment, directly influence your emotional and physical well-being. Imagine yourself eating a lemon and you will begin to salivate (produce saliva in the mouth), picture yourself fall from a cliff edge and you will generate the feeling of falling along with tremendous anxiety (worry), possibly terror.
The key to relaxation lies in what you do with your mind. Like an inner television screen or an artist's blank canvas, your mind is ready to display any idea or image, which you choose. While meditation tends to have one point of mental focus (an idea, a point of knowledge or mantra), creative visualization is the purposeful use of the mind to create positive images as a result of which we experience relaxation. This is the underlying principle behind the Rajyoga Meditation taught by the Brahma Kumaris.

Meditation And Health

Given below is a simple meditation commentary which can be used to heal the physical body. Think slowly and visualize side by side each positive thought given below before moving on:

I sit quietly and turn inwards........
I visualize a pinpoint of light, a sparkling star, the source of pure energy that I am........
located in the center of my forehead........
In this awareness, white rays of the divine light of purity from me extend into my entire physical body in the form of a laser beam........
These vibrations of purity soothe, heal and energize my physical system........
The impurities, toxins and illnesses in the body are being washed away and thrown out from the extremities (corners) of the body........
The body starts experiencing its original inner beauty........
It returns to a state of harmony (peace), to a state of good health......

Understanding The Quality Of Love

It is often said that you cannot truly love others until you are able to love yourself. But what does this mean? Does loving ourselves mean constantly saying to myself “I love myself”? Does loving the self mean giving our self lots of presents? Does loving our self mean we become self obsessed? Fortunately, the answer is no to all of the above. Loving our self is comprised of knowing, understanding and nourishing the self. We need to know someone before we can express an appropriate love for him or her. And so it is with our self. We need to know our self as we truly are, a spiritual being. When we realise we have been asleep and under the wrong belief that we are only physical, almost immediately we see that it is this wrong belief that has filled our thoughts and feelings with many forms of suffering which we have given to ourselves. This understanding of our self allows us to change our consciousness and to give our love for the self its first form, which is self-acceptance. We can accept where we are now without regret. Self-forgiveness is also a form of love for the self, which is forgetting, and letting go of all the things we thought and did in the past, which are causing any suffering to our self in the present. Self-acceptance and self-forgiveness are acts of love towards ourselves. Love for the self also takes the form of care for the self and nourishing the self by spending time in meditation and spiritual study. Not all day, but for some time within each day. Only when we have learned to love our self in these ways, will we be able make love visible for others in our day-to-day relationships.

Self Realization

Most of us are taught to believe we are our physical forms, and so we identify with our body or the labels we give to our bodies such as nationality, race, gender, profession etc. This wrong sense of self is what creates emotions of fear, anger and sadness in life. From a spiritual point of view these 'unnatural' emotions are always the result of ego (identifying oneself wrongly), which then blocks access to our true original nature, which is peaceful, loving and joyful.
If we identify ourselves correctly (as souls), we are spiritually empowered (strengthened) and then we are not affected by the obstacles (barriers) that come our way – we are able to use our spiritual power to accept and move on. We are able to remain stable in the middle of negative situations. In effect we are using our inner strength, which is only released and used when we know who and what we are, and then using that strength in the right way, in the right place at the right time.

Concentration

With some meditation techniques, people are given ideas or mantras, which they often simply repeat. They do not penetrate the mind and do not bring any sense of meaning. People bounce these ideas around like a ball in their mind and, from the mind, the ball of thought is bounced to the mouth. Sound patterns are repeated, but nothing has really been understood. The result of this is that there is very little power generated from within to bring about change in behaviour, or personality. Thus, everything continues in the same way. In these cases, people are not focused on spirituality. As a result, after a while, such people find meditation boring, they fall asleep, or think that by repeating words, either verbally or mentally, they are doing meditation. However, the right type of concentration is not brought about simply by repeating sounds or ideas.

Natural concentration is when the mind can hold a thought for a long time, when thoughts are under our own control.
Without concentration the mind goes here, there and everywhere, jumping like a monkey from branch to branch, idea to idea. When there is a natural concentration, we can control our mind and there is peace. This one-pointed concentration on a thought, holding it for as long as we like, gradually collects strength in the mind and in the self.

A strong mind is a mind that is peaceful, stable, satisfied and can remain in
the deeper meaning of a thought. There is no waste caused by over-thinking,
or the high speed of thought. These are the two greatest diseases of the mind
these days, which is why there is so much stress and mental breakdown.

Positive Reflections For The Day

On the path of Raja Yoga meditation there is a saying, "See, but don't see! Hear, but don't hear!" which means to remain aware of all realities, including the negative, but not to focus on them. We get caught up in the negative because we react and the reactions are expressed in the form of judgements, accusations, criticism, or labelling. As soon as we judge or criticise, we put everything into convenient boxes and, just as convenience foods are not always so healthy, such conveniences at the mental and attitudinal level are a great danger, because we mentally seal (close) the fate (destiny) of the person or situation: they are like this and so must be treated accordingly. Unfortunately, this is often done in an unconscious way, which is why Raja Yoga meditation is used to bring such attitudes and behaviours to the surface, conscious awareness.


When our vision and attitude remain judgemental or critical, they do so because there is no input of positivity from the self to encourage or allow a positive change.


There cannot be a positive output when there is a negative input.


We often work in this way, wanting others to be better in some way, but, instead of helping them, or having faith in them and seeing their good qualities, we hinder (obstruct) them by concentrating on their past, their weaknesses and their mistakes. Our focus is completely negative, but still we expect them to change for the better!



When our awareness is more detached, rather than focusing on what is wrong, we look at how we can put something right by contributing a positive feeling, or attitude. This anonymous (not known to anyone) contribution is a generous act, which offers a solution, instead of the usual complaints by critical and judgemental people.

Traffic Control

During the day we can stop for some moments to reflect (think) and remember to be peaceful and silent. This act of stopping is like putting a brake on the mind.

I observe in what direction my thoughts, words and actions are going and then, if necessary, redirect them (change their direction) or keep moving in the same direction with more clarity (clearness) and focus.

This practice of remembrance is called 'traffic control'. It is a means to refresh, recharge and reorient. When we forget to stop, the traffic of the mind becomes heavy and the driving tense, tiring, stressful and irritating and our mind and nerves seem ready to explode! To prevent all explosions and emotional eruptions, which ultimately destroy or damage our effectiveness, we need to stop. This is one practical use of remembrance.

Self Empowerment

We do realize inside ourselves that if we expect anything of anyone, one day we will be let down, so we create the emotion of disappointment, turn that into anger, and turn that back into fear (that it may happen again). And it’s all going on in our own minds. The only cure for this cycle of negative thinking is not to expect anything of anyone. But then you say, “how is this possible, you have to have expectations that someone will call you up when you expect him/her to do so, someone will do the job that you have given him/her correctly, that your child will come home safe and sound...don’t you?” Well do you? Expectations are not compulsory. And once we see that they lead to pain maybe we can learn to live without them. But if you cannot be expectation free instantly, a cure for that is as follows - have expectations, but don’t get attached to your expectations. Another way of saying this is don’t let your happiness be dependent on having your expectations met. No one said this was easy, but it is possible. There will always be someone who does not do the given task, or arrive at the right time, or even simply call you as you expected.

Exercise: Who are the two people in your life today from whom you have high expectations? Do you think it is healthy to have these expectations? What will you feel if your expectations are not met? What could you do to make sure that you do not go into disappointment but stay positive when someone does not fulfill their commitments, which are/were your expectations?

Self Respect

Self-respect depends on knowing who I am, knowing my eternal (ageless), spiritual self. When I have found that sense of spiritual identity, I feel I have a right to be here, to exist. Without the spiritual dimension, it is very difficult to really respect myself deeply. In this case, I base my respect on identifying with the superficial (artificial) aspects of my being: looks, gender, success, my life partner, my intelligence. With such artificial identification, I will never have a stable sense of self-respect, because people's opinions change. Today they love me, tomorrow they reject me. What is the result of depending on their opinions? I will end up fluctuating all the time - feeling positive when they say good things, and feeling down when they say negative things. To stay stable in my self-respect, I need to have a deeper understanding of my spiritual identity (the foundation of this being that I am a soul) and tap into those riches that are within me forever, waiting to blossom, like the flower from the seed.

As I become spiritually aware, those riches and resources start flowing out of me. The more stable I am in my self-respect and spirituality, the more I radiate what I truly am. I feel a deep sense of contentment and I am happy to be me, however I am. I accept myself as I am.

Connecting With The Supreme Source

The Supreme Source (Supreme Soul) has the power to remind us of what we were because His original state of being is permanent; He never forgets Himself, is never polluted and remains forever true to Himself in the state of spiritual or soul consciousness. As a result, He is the copy of what we were, of what we are to become. Very simply, the qualities of peace, love, purity, happiness and truth are there in Him, visible and available to those who wish to tune in and receive.

What we remember, we become, and so it is important to remember the right things. Number one on the list is thoughts of the original self and the Supreme Source.

Imagine two points of energy (light): one here on the earth, in time and matter, and the other beyond the earth, in another world of silence and peace. When these two points connect through the power of thought and feeling there is a union, which allows for a flow of energy and the experience of our true being. 'I, the soul, the point, am here and the Supreme Soul, also a point of energy (light), is up there'. However, love and remembrance bring such closeness that there is no feeling of
distance or separation.

To achieve remembrance that empowers (strengthens), we need to plug in every day to the Supreme Source in silence, in a way that is beyond ritual or sound. It is a personal connection, which requires no audience and no rules, only an honest heart. When a person has a positive intention (purpose), the plug of love fits into the socket and the self receives whatever it needs, whatever is useful for it to create and sustain a life of quality.
 

Quality Transformation (Change) (cont.)

‘Quality transformers' can be compared to the oyster. When a tiny foreign particle invades (enters) the oyster’s home, it secretes a liquid that combines with the particle to finally create a pearl. The pearl can live in the oyster's home for the rest of the oyster's natural life without causing any disturbance.

 

In the same way, rather than react negatively to people and events, we can include them and mould with them. Through acceptance, our consciousness jumps to another level of perception (understanding) and we realise that what we might have previously regarded as a problem can, if handled correctly, be a means to develop our strengths and remove our weaknesses. Whether a situation is a problem or a gift depends on our perception. The choice is ours.

Quality Transformation (Change)

The easiest way to understand quality change is to consider the example of roses. These beautiful flowers, although nourished by smelly manure, do not take any of its odour (smell) or colour. They are truly like kings of gardens, in their pink, gold, red and white robes, filling the air with such a fragrance that people who come to the garden do not even notice the manure. The roots of the roses are able to transform (change) the manure to such an extent that the best is taken without any negative side effects. This is an example of quality change.

The human world is like a garden. We are like a variety of flowers surrounded by lots of manure, that is, negativity in all its forms, such as ego, fear, anger, attachment, mistrust, etc. People who are 'quality transformers' can accept all these negative things and use them for their personal growth without the negativity penetrating (entering) them; they do not get spoilt, or even touched by it. With understanding and the natural, loving detachment that comes from silence, they realise that the negative person, or situation, in front of them is the Universe’s way of giving them an opportunity to create a tiny, silent miracle in their lives. Quality transformers become the spiritual roses in the Garden of Humanity: they display all their beauty and provide inspiration for all those who see them.

(To be continued tomorrow .... )

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Identity Crisis

The primary quality or the original condition of a pure mind, a pure self, is peace. Initially there was no confusion about 'who I am'. As time passed by, and we came in the process of birth and rebirth, we began to identify with what we are not, starting with our own physical form, and then with external things like lands, positions, material possessions and people. These multiple identities generated the first confusions. In those moments, our inner peace was broken. This is why today so many people suffer from an identity crisis, but are so used to living in this crisis that they are not even aware that it is a crisis. They are not sure what they should be. They are constantly comparing themselves with others. They regularly aim to be like others. They even imitate (copy) the lifestyles of others: all signs that they don't know who or what they are. And if they think they are sure about who they are, the stability it brings does not last for long, as it is almost always based on 'something' external to the 'self’, something that must therefore be subject to change. In other words each and every one of us has learned to identify with something we are not.

This loss of true self-identity, at the most deep level, the spiritual level, is what gives rise to fear. And when what we fear might happen actually does happen, we get angry and try to control what we cannot control, so that it doesn't happen again.

Imbibing (Absorbing) Spiritual Knowledge

The first step into experience, particularly the meditation experience, is knowledge. What does it mean to 'know'? Knowing involves four steps, which ultimately give the meditator the experience of realization:

The first step of knowing is information. With information, our intellect opens to new ideas and opinions.

The second step of knowing is knowledge, when we begin to reflect and think on the ideas and views that we have listened to. At this point, we often have to select only a few of the ideas we have heard, as it is not always possible to reflect (think) on all the information that is fed to us. In order to deepen our understanding, we reflect on the information and sometimes discuss our findings and thoughts with others.

The third step of knowing is when we move from thinking to doing, that is, from knowledge to wisdom. Wisdom is gained when we commit ourselves to 'doing'. Knowledge translated into our everyday behaviour is called wisdom, which, in turn, is called quality life. A life of quality is where personal values are not only realised but also lived and experienced through our practical actions.

Doing, or practice, naturally brings us to the fourth and final step of knowing, which is called Truth.

Motivation

Motivation is an inner positive energy, a combination of enthusiasm and clear perception (understanding) that enables us to accomplish (complete) a task.

Motivation keeps us determined and on course, otherwise it is so easy to be distracted by problems and laziness. What does motivation do? It moves us from one reality to another, from where I am to where I wish to be.

When we want to reactivate our motivation we need to examine the following:

* What do I want?
* What do I wish for?
* What do I value?
* What do I need?
* What do I enjoy?
* What do I understand? and, especially,
* What do I love?

When we sit down and think about the answers to these questions, they become the basis for activating new insights and tasks and for reactivating those insights and tasks, which I have forgotten to pay proper attention to and have not developed properly.

Anger Management And Prevention

There are some false ideas about anger that we have acquired, which we use to justify and nourish our anger:

1.  Anger is a natural response to other people’s behaviour.

Fact: You don’t realize the danger anger presents to your personal health and well-being. By maintaining this belief, you conveniently avoid the inner work of changing a deep negative habit.

Tip For Transformation (Change): Meditation enables you to remain kind towards what and who you see, no matter what they appear to have done.

2. In order to be assertive (confidently aggressive or self-assured), I have to use anger as a weapon.

Fact: Anger is the opposite of assertiveness. When you become angry, firstly you are killing yourself, and those with whom you become angry  are only going to give back to you what they get or distance themselves from you completely.
Tip For Transformation:  To make a real and lasting peace with others we need to be anger-free, which can be achieved through meditation.

Radiating Peace

The mistake many make in meditation is one of subtle pride (ego). It's as if we say, "Look at me, I've got the best seat on the train. Look at me I made it to my peace. Didn't I do well?" This of course is one of those old-fashioned self-centred thoughts. As soon as you create it you go against the very essence (nature) of your true self, your peace. To go with the essence (nature) of truth about peace is to realise your peace is not just for you, it is for the world. It is for giving, for radiating, for transmitting, for sharing.

It is a subtle recognition that your peace can only be sustained (nourished) and increased when you give it to those who are peaceless around you. When you realise this, you will also recognise how the vibration of your peacefulness radiates outwards. When you consciously release your peace to others and to the world, that's when you will feel its power.

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Types Of Fears (cont.)

Yesterday we had explained some of the common types of fear human beings suffer from. Let us look at some more:

* Failure

- some people avoid doing something, or choose not to act, because their fear of failure weakens initiative and confidence.

* Authority

- this can be fear of a parent, of a boss, even of God. Because authority has often been misused, in order to control and suppress people, it is a normal result that fear, in the form of suspicion and mistrust, has become such a negative force, both personally and collectively, in society.

There are many reasons for these types of fear, but the main ones include:

* Past experiences

, which brought disappointment, insecurity, or wariness (caution).

* Lack of faith

in one's self and in others.

* The need for approval

, to belong, or to be accepted.

* The habit of seeing things negatively

Types Of Fears

Fear comes daily and often in our lives in the form of stress, worry, anxiety and in a variety of other wasteful and negative forms. Let us look at some of the types of fear human beings suffer from:

* The unknown - for example, death or a new situation.

* Loneliness - sometimes people fear loneliness to the extent that they cannot bear their own company, preferring to lose themselves in superficial (artificial) relationships and activities.

* The future - as the problems of the world increase, whether political, economic, environmental or social, this creates, or adds to, personal and collective fear of the future.

* Illness - sometimes because of fear of disease, people make their sickness worse than it is, or live in fear of inflicting (getting) something horrible.

* Other people - usually this is the greatest fear of all: fear of others' anger, rejection, judgement and violence.

(To be continued tomorrow….)

Emotional Intelligence

Reading the emotions of others 

The ability to pick up others emotions is something we can all do naturally. The fastest way to learn to be sensitive to and identify others emotional states is to learn to read our own. If we cannot inwardly read and identify our own emotions it will be impossible to do this for others.

The great danger of getting too close to others emotions is that we fall into them and create the same emotions ourselves. This is often seen as one of the pillars of friendship in an emotional relationship. But to fall into and create and experience the same emotions as another is not sympathy (mercy), and it doesn't help them climb out of their disturbance. Hence the need to practice 'detached involvement', a process in which we stay sufficiently detached to be able to accurately read and understand the emotions of another while staying sufficiently involved with them so we may offer our help to them.

Realizing Your Purpose

You are a source of the most powerful energy on the planet because you have a mind and an intellect, which has the capacity to create thoughts, ideas and actions. If however, there is no purpose (aim and objective) to your creativity, no focus or direction, your energy and your power will leak out in a variety of directions. You will be left with a drained feeling and the subtle guilt that you wasted precious time and energy. Just as a light bulb focuses and radiates the energy of electricity, so a clear purpose focuses and radiates the power of the self. Take time out to consider your purpose in life and then how you can translate that purpose into your day, everyday. You will see your purpose in your mind’s eye. One day it will occur to you, perhaps unexpectedly, perhaps in one single thought, or a clear single image of stunning clarity (accuracy), but you will know it with a certainty that needs no questioning.

Vision, Goals, Strategies And Action Plans

A vision is what you can see but not yet reach. The most powerful dimension of vision is not the long term dimension but actually the way you choose to see yourself in your work, circumstances, relationships, etc. Important changes start occurring by simply choosing to see things and people differently. That will have a huge influence on the decisions you make and the results. This is the power of vision.
Goals are aimed at achieving the vision. They should be achievable in a short span of time and represent what you can see and reach. Goals should be specific, measurable, actionable, relevant and time bound (SMART).
Clarification of goals then sets the agenda for the strategies (how) that are necessary to achieve those goals, to drive those goals forward. The strategies then need to be broken down into very specific action plans.

Self Management

Self Management

It is only in our relationships that we can truly know ourselves. We are a mirror for each other. What we give to others at the level of our thoughts, feelings and attitudes is what we give to ourselves, and will finally come back from others. Our relationships are the real workshop, classroom, learning laboratory of our life. Relationship is not simply getting along with others, it is about understanding, building, nourishing and caring. Every interaction carries a lesson. Take one relationship, look at it, explore it and ask yourself what does it tell you about yourself and your life so far. Let your relationships reveal you to yourself. As you do you will naturally learn what makes relationships work, or not work, as the case may be! And the more you get to know yourself in the mirror of your relationships the more easily you will be able to understand others.

Exercise: Who is one person who is close to you and one person who is not so close? Now reflect (think) on each relationship and write down what each of these people seems to bring out in you when you are with them. What part of your self would you want to see more developed in each of these relationships e.g. humour, patience, humility (egolessness) etc.? What will you do today to develop these aspects of your personality?

Release, Let Go And Be Free

Release, Let Go And Be Free

If you don't let go of the scene, the event, the sounds and the images of other people, whom you mistakenly (incorrectly) believe 'did you wrong’, if you keep replaying the scene and re-creating your negative feelings, it means you are holding on to it all. Holding on also means you are carrying one huge inner burden. Burdens make life heavy. Holding on means you are just stuck in an inner 'action replay' mode, and that only deepens your suffering, driving it deeper into your heart. Isn't that foolish? Can you give it up and get on with your life?

Here's the truth of hurt. Well, almost the truth! Every time you think about something hurtful, perhaps something that others said or did, you are only repeating the moment it happened in your own mind. Let's say you think about it 99 times. The other person only said or did what they did once. But you have done it over and over again in your head 99 times, so who is hurting whom here? You are hurting yourself.

Communication (cont.4)

Communication (cont.)

What are the ways to improve communication?

* Say what we mean, always. When we speak with courage and a calm self-confidence without force, then communication is honest, open, clear and trusted. Courage doesn't mean to say what we think others want to hear. If we lack courage because of the need for approval and acceptance, or because of a lack of confidence, then communication and the consequent relationship remains superficial and artificial. No one feels satisfied with this situation.

* Learn the language of silence. It is the basis of right intentions, positive feelings and clear attitudes. In this language, there is only one grammar: honesty and kindness. Honesty creates clarity and kindness creates respectfulness.

When we take time to reflect on our level of communication with everyone we meet, the realizations we have in silence will be manifested (displayed) in the higher quality and ease of interaction that we will find in all relations: be it with the self, with others or with the Supreme Source of Light.

Communication (cont.3)

Communication (cont.)

What are the ways to improve communication?

* Listen with both ears. I should be an active listener by tuning in fully and being present fully with the person and with the moment. If I am not, I listen through one ear and let it out of the other, or I only half listen, which finally creates misunderstandings.

* Understand where the other person is coming from. Do not just assume, imagine or judge; when we do this, our critical vision prevents others from expressing what they wish to say. Then, because of wrong or half-right assumptions, others are not given the possibility to improve, or express, outside the boundaries of what we think of them. To give others a true chance to express themselves, we must not place our own boundaries around them.

* Think before speaking. This is not something new, but however often we hear it, we forget to apply it. To think before speaking means to show consideration to the other and then we say the right thing, at the right time, in the right way.

(To be continued tomorrow….)

Communication (cont.2)

Communication (cont.)

Here are some more common reasons for blocks to communication:

* Lack of sincerity. When our thoughts and feelings are honest and respectful, then the hearts of others will open to us. A positive highway of trust is built and communication flows positively.

* Creating negative perceptions (understandings) and emotions about others i.e. how we visualize or label them. Such emotions, no matter how well hidden, are finally always communicated to others on a subtle (non-physical), non-verbal level, and create an atmosphere of tension and unease.

* Not letting go of negative perceptions (understandings) and emotions. The only method to revive our relationship with others is to let go of negativity on a daily basis, to prevent it from building up. Far too often, the build-up happens without us even noticing it and, we wonder why positive feedback is not coming from the other side.

* Lack of silence. To go deep into the self and put our thoughts and feelings into silence enables them to become positive. The silent relaxation defuses (reduces) anger and the blame and complaints that often go with it.

(To be continued tomorrow….)